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Re: Wouldn't mind some advice.
Posted: January 6th, 2009, 8:57 pm
by TsuScorpio
My Advice:
Eventually, you'll get over her. I was in your same position once, let me tell ya, i look back on it now and think i was wasting time. But, if you think of committing suicide, just calm down, relax. Think about something else. Eventually, you'll meet someone else better than her. What helps me, and i've come to enjoy. Is to stop everything, make everything silent. And just think. Think about the world around you, think about the mysteries of life and the universe around you. One thing that keeps me occupied the most, is space. Outside the universe is nothing, but how is there nothing when it is infinite, if it is nothing, then how can you call it it? Nothing is a something but yet it isnt anything.
Time Heals All
Re: Wouldn't mind some advice.
Posted: January 6th, 2009, 9:02 pm
by sadistik
This is a bit complicated, You may not want to take this advice (nobody ever wants to) and because this is based off of assumption.
What finally shook me out of my woman depression was realizing that she was why we failed, not me. you have to realize the same thing.. you can probibly think of a million reasons why you think she doesn't like you, but none of that really matters. All that matters is that she doesn't, it's her choice based on her interests. If you have to "make" her like you, it's not the same.
Only she knows why she didn't want to continue where you left off. Most Women are very cruel when it comes to guys in relationships, they play wonderful mind tricks that make you feel like everything is your fault, even if you're not going out, you feel like you have to do something to win her over right? At the end I felt I had to do something to make things better, and I wanted to die because I failed, she had me convinced I messed up our "dream of marriage" (an illusion) and even tried to say we might get back together soon. At that point I knew it was a game, and I had been toyed with terribly.. even after it was over she tried to plant false hopes in me just to torment me..
What helped me figure out my own situation was looking at it from a different perspective. Instead of me, I thought about if it were someone I knew, what would I think about it then.. I became aware that she was a very shady woman with a very f*cked up agenda. Maybe try that.
Since you're younger though, maybe it's not all that bad, opinions and interests will naturally change, maybe there is hope.. you said she's back or will be soon, you've already asked her out once, if you don't ask again it'll appear you aren't interested. if she's not interested don't persue it, women will seriously use it against you, they will flirt with you a little to get you to buy them things and do them favors, having you thinking they might like you more if you do favors for them. Then you feel like crap because you think you're not doing enough.. It honestly depends on the individual girl. Not all of them are evil, just most of them.
Scorpio knows what he's talking about too.
Time does heal all, here's the stages I went through
happy (relationship) > Depression (breakup) > Hate (realizing she screwed with me) > Indifference (time healing)
The thinking process you described is simple meditation, I havn't done that in months, but it worked.. all you do is think of a single thing or idea. just keep your thoughts away from her on this. I thought about my future here after I moved, what I wanted to accomplish that I couldn't before.
Re: Wouldn't mind some advice.
Posted: January 6th, 2009, 9:46 pm
by my44mag
I wouldn't tell any body unless they ask if you got some kinda problem
and if you do tell them and they treat you differently there after, they can go f*ck them self's ,,cuz you don't need to associate your self with no cock suckers like that son, tell them to suck your balls! 
Re: Wouldn't mind some advice.
Posted: January 6th, 2009, 11:07 pm
by Guest
just take a sh*t load of pills man, you're hopeless
Re: Wouldn't mind some advice.
Posted: January 7th, 2009, 2:37 am
by Mentally-Hilarious
Guest wrote:just take a sh*t load of pills man, you're hopeless
Aww, I love you too!!
And uhh, thanks mag, even though in my last post i said i already told them...
Moving on...
Thanks sadistik and scorpio, Ill keep what you said in mind and try to keep myself sane enough to come back to the forums more regularly.
MH
Re: Wouldn't mind some advice.
Posted: January 7th, 2009, 7:19 am
by my44mag
Oh by the way son,I forgot to tell you that your not alone here.
I'm special to 
Re: Wouldn't mind some advice.
Posted: January 7th, 2009, 2:52 pm
by fl00d3d
We all are.
This is part of life.
I hate to say it, but: "get used to it"
Re: Wouldn't mind some advice.
Posted: January 7th, 2009, 7:48 pm
by Spurs
Yeah man I had a similiar problem with a girl. I'm a senior now, and this girl and I have quite the history. We dated sophmore year, we broke up, and have been hooking up on and off since, but second semester senior year she really lead me on and I thought we were going to date again, and she ended up dating some douche bag and completely f*cked with my head. It sucked a lot. By summer (last summer), they broke up, and we started talking again, hooked up a few times, and then she ended up dating someone else again-- into present. After the first time I was so depresssed, but this time I was like, it wasn't an accident, she is obviously a b*tch, and I lost feelings for her, and moved onto other girls. Here is my advice:
Hook up with other girls, are start talking to other girls.
I got over her by doing this the second time (as in right now). Since September or so, I have been so mad and jealous I haven't really talked to her because it would piss me off, but now I can without getting angry.
And yeah, I still think about her a decent amount, and that's something you will probably have to cope with, but your feelings start to change and really the thoughts I get went from "I really miss her" to "what a b*tch".
.
The #1 thing I would work on is confidence. Once you get your confidence back, you are good to go.
FORGET ABOUT THAT GIRL!!!
Re: Wouldn't mind some advice.
Posted: January 7th, 2009, 8:10 pm
by Mentally-Hilarious
Thanks again guys, this is... strangely... really helping.
@ Spurs: I would "Hook up with other girls, are start talking to other girls." but I'm currently in a different country, going home in 2 days. Oh... and according to my original post, I'm autistic. Being abnormally shy normally comes with Asperger's Syndrome. Yea, i know 'hold you breath and jump in' but I pretty much already tried that.. I asked out almost anyone I thought I had the slightest chance with, nothing but rejection there. The bit that weirded me out the most was that it didn't bother me.
@ Flooded: thanks for the harsh, but fair advice.
Side note... is the post by guest at all deletable? it doesn't really seem appropriate for the advice forum...
Re: Wouldn't mind some advice.
Posted: January 8th, 2009, 12:55 am
by fl00d3d
Mentally-Hilarious wrote:
Side note... is the post by guest at all deletable? it doesn't really seem appropriate for the advice forum...
No, it's not appropriate. And I've taken note of it. If that sort of behavior continues you can be sure I'd ban them from this section.
Re: Wouldn't mind some advice.
Posted: January 8th, 2009, 1:14 am
by Mentally-Hilarious
Thankya kindly Sean.
Re: Wouldn't mind some advice.
Posted: January 18th, 2009, 7:21 pm
by sadistik
M-H I have some advice That just kinda hit me today. If you see this, reply in this topic and I'll write it out. it's a little long, and I dont wanna write it out if you dont even read it lol. since it's anominous(sp) Idk how often you check the forums.
Re: Wouldn't mind some advice.
Posted: January 18th, 2009, 10:43 pm
by Cotsuma
To me it sounds like she didn't want you to find out because she still has feelings for u and prob when she gets back she may want to see if ur interest for her and hers for u may be stronger.
Sounds like one of those type of movies. very dramatic.
Re: Wouldn't mind some advice.
Posted: January 28th, 2009, 7:03 pm
by The anonymous formally known as M-H
Yea, thanks cotsuma... very helpful.. especially the bit about the movie
Jks, thanks..
@sadistik
Yea, im here, havn't had much time to check in, but i will do over the next week if your still willing to share.
Re: Wouldn't mind some advice.
Posted: January 28th, 2009, 9:26 pm
by sadistik
k, idk how you are with all girls (just the one) But what I've realized is that they really like aggression, even if they say they dont. I've heard it a million times before but never really got it.. I'm going to give you three cenerios of girls i've tried to get with
1, barely any agression:
The first girl I ever tried to go out with was a chick named Stephanie whom I met at a Paramount There park (Great America) I was with my best friend and she had her best friend so we got their phone numbers. This was before I had a job or a car lol so we wound up taking a 15 minute train ride to visit them after a few weeks of talking on the phone. This was my first expierience so I had no clue at all what to do, i'd never had a gf, never kissed a girl before lol.. i was hopeless.. Being nice took me a little bit of the way, I got as far as her straddling me in the car, but i was too afraid to try anything else.. I simply didn't know any better.. I didn't know that straddling me = she wanted me.. nothing happened after that for a long time..
Almost couple of years later, During my first real relationship with girl #2 (i'll get to her later), my friend has my cellphone, and I didn't know what he was doing, but he texted her (as me) "Wanna come out and play?" .. an almost instant response comes back, we start talking again for about a week and she invites me over for her holloween party.. She told me her costume was a suprise, she was a "firechick" really short red shorts, and a tight white tee, and glasses for the sexy intelligent look.. I had gone over there with the thought of cheating, she knew I had a gf too, she didn't care.. But I couldn't do it even thought I wanted to, because of my loyalty to my gf.. I've never spoken to this chick sense.. she was a 10 too... If I knew then what I know now...
Not really agressive but the text "wanna come out and play" was not something I would have done, but she responded quickly to it, because it was sort of kinky
2, Started sorta aggressive (for me), but lost it.
I just came back from a flight from Florida on Halloween, my friend calls me over to go trick-or-treating with some girl he wants to go out with. I go. we find out ahead of time that the girl he's interested in has a friend who is coming too.. Now I was thinking, lol I can have some fun with this.. I basically had given up hope of finding a gf, so i decided wtf, I'll probibly never see her again, I'm just gonna say a bunch of sh*t and see what happens.. I told her my name was Seth, and that I was an upcoming rapper.. lol .. This girl eventually became the dreaded ex gf that I'd love to strangle for the way she sort of used me.. lol.. But I was even aggressive enough after confirming we were in a relationship to begin the first feeling her up on my own... that worked out very well for me.
Anyway, we fell in love, and My hopeless attitude went away, I'd become soft and for about 2 years we went out, but lost her when she started going to college.. I'd invested everything into her, she became a whore.. things went downhill very very fast. I dont think my lack of aggression actually lost her, it's just she changed and wanted to put out to everyone.. something I really cant control.
3, rebound... lol, strong aggression
Some random chick myspaced me and complimented me on my pic something similar to "you're really fine" I saw her picture, and it was misleading as hell.. It was a dark picture with her hair kind of over her forehead, it didn't look that bad.. I figured, hey, she's not super hot, but it'll get my mind off of my ex.. She ws from pittsburg (Ca) a "bay area city" and she talked sort of ghetto, so lol... I started just saying the most ghetto sh*t I could think of just messing around like, "what's crackin in the 925?" (her area code) In like 3 hours of myspacing I got a phone number thinking wtf... that was fast.. after talking on the phone for a few weeks, sometime during she says she's a freak, so i'm thinking This was gonna be a good score.. We set a date, I'm thinking I'm gonna impress her so I tell her Red lobster.. I was going big, after we planned to fool around in a movie theater.. Here's what actually happened...
I get to her house, and Find out immediately she was f*cking gross.. She was about as tall as me, Chunky, her hair in the pic was hiding a humungous forehead, and her chin was big too.. this chick is 0 on a 1-10 scale.. I kept it cool though, and tried to think on how to get out of it.. I took her to red lobster, and planned on faking being sick after eating.. I got so tense on wanting to get the hell out of there, I actually was able to make myself throw up in front of the theater.. That way she saw me throw up lol... I never called her again.. I was fooled by a pic, and I'm not doing that again..
Now.. The best advice seriously is be yourself, but make yourself aggressive.. both times I started doing thing I wouldn't have normally done were really in desperation, but they worked.. Since then 2-3 years ago, I've naturally become more aggressive because of my life situation, When I was going broke in California I became more aggressive to survive, When I moved to South Carolina I became more aggressive to make something of myself. Aggression isn't necessarily bad, it just depends on how you use it. I think that's all I had to write, It's like 2 weeks since I thought of this lol.. if not, I'll post more later, but I think that's all.